This week my husband and I will celebrate our 25th Anniversary. On November 29th we had a “party” with family to mark the occasion. In so many ways it does not feel like 25 years since the day that we both said “I do,” but according to our calendars it is really 25 years.
In all of these years we have had three children who are now 24, 19, and 15. We have experienced the loss of family members together and welcomed new ones as well. By the time we were married almost 7 years, he had lost both of his parents. We both no longer have any living grandparents. My mom passed away 10 years ago and unfortunately, we don’t really have much of a relationship with my dad. There have definately been struggles over the years, not only with relationships and losses but financial strains and a complete career change as well. We have experienced many joys together as well, welcoming new family members through marriage and the births of neices and nephews. My guess is that based on the above description, it probably sounds like a lot of families and a lot of marriages.
On that day 25 years ago, did we know that we would still be standing side by side facing happiness and hardships together? No. All we knew was that we loved each other and that we were willing to face each day together, whatever it may bring. It is one day at a time, one challenge at a time as well; knowing that whatever a day may bring, we can count on each other and on the Lord to see us through. If we didn’t have a relationship with God and the support of our families, we may not still be standing here side by side.
I know I am kind of taking the following verses out of context but I believe these verses are helpful in all aspects of life and especially marriage.
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” — Colossians 3:12-17
If we have compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forgiveness, love and a shared love of God, we stand a chance at success…on our own and according to our human nature, we would probably fail but I thank the Lord that He has been with us on this journey, guiding us to what is best for us even when we cannot see it, and I thank the Lord that I know that He will be with us as we face the future together as well.
On Saturday we had a wonderful day celebrating with our loved ones, some of those who were present at our wedding 25 years ago. We watched a video/slideshow of images of loved ones throughout the years, many who have since passed away, so there were fond memories, a few tears, laughter and a lot of happiness. It was great to have the chance to share those memories with both of our families.
I cannot even imagine what lies ahead of us but with the support of our family and the Lord’s help, we can face anything together.
The Art Of A Good Marriage
Wilferd Arlan Peterson
Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.
A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is at no time taking the other for granted;
the courtship should not end
with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years.
It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.
It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.
It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice,
but in the spirit of joy. It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humour.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.
It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.
It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.